How to forget someone

Hi guys, guess you all are having a Sunday blast. Some of you maybe sitting at home being depressed about the last relationship you had or someone who is being the cause of your sadness.

Many times, unfortunately we come in contact with people who at first seems good, loving and caring but then when we start to be closer with them, feel affectionate and tries to establish a bond, suddenly they start to show no more interest. Sometimes we misjudge someone’s affections and closeness as a sign of commitment or sometimes they play their natural game without being concerned about the consquences of their actions and how this will affect us. Truly that hurts, whoever it is, a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend or colleague.Relationships hurts, not because the person is being mean to us or we misjudge but because when we are with someone, in any kind of relationship, we store enormous volume of memories, if it is a romantic relationship then it’s worse than ever.We don’t get sad because the person is not with us or gives us the same values that we are expecting or offer to them. But it is because we are not able to find the right way to erase the memories and our ego does not let us accept the fact that the person who has been treating us low or being mean is not going to change their attitude.

How to deal with this ?????

  • The very first thing is, simply we can not forget people or their actions, in the same way that we can not forget many other things in life. So, the best way is to accept that the person is no longer with you, and his/her attitude towards you will never get changed.
  • The second thing is, be on a destructive mode, not self-destruction but destroy every piece of shit that is connected with the person. Start with cleaning chats, SMS, emails, gifts, and at last phone number. Don’t write the number anywhere, do not cheat your own self.
  • Stop talking to those people who can bring any topic related to that person who is causing you discomfort. If you’re in college or office it will definitely be a huge problem, in this case tell all the people who can bring any topic related to that person, you are not interested to listen. If they really care they will understand if not then you must not care about them.
  • Restrain yourself from being in any kind of communication with the person who is causing you this anxiety. Just know that sometimes it is all about you, you have to love yourself. At least maintain NO CONTACT for 3 to 4 months.
  • Go for a solo trip, meet new peoples, see new places, spend time with family, concentrate on work and money making, and most important, give less time to your phone, more to the real peoples surrounding you.

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7 things you should not do on first date.

First expression is the last expression, first date is the door to future dates and serious relationship, but many F** if up due to their immature behavior and lack of sensibility.

Don’ts

  • Be present physically and mentally : Leo finally met a girl who he has been chatting with for a while, during the whole date she was checking her instagram and whatsapp, that was a total turn off, when someone is sitting infront of you and you’re not concentrating on them but busy with your phone, it is a kind of disrespecting the person sitting infront of you. So when you’re on a date, be sure that you’re physically as well as mentally present on the date, keep your phone aside (of course this excludes the important business calls) and speak to the person you’re on a date with.
  • Know your date : Self praise is no praise, you’re on a date to know each other, it is not an interview where your future is sitting in front of you and asking you to tell everything about yourself while he is listening carefully. It is a date. Many people start talking about themselves, their hobbies, dreams, desire and every minute details about them self . Come on!! don’t act like a braggart. The person in front of you will get the impression that you’re a self centered person who cares only about himself / herself, and no one likes a self centered person. Instead of telling about yourself ask about him/her. But do not ask so much that it turns into a police investigation, it should be equal, tell about yourself but also ask about him/her.
  • Don’t appear like you’re dead : Some people, especially when they have been in an online dating mode and finally meets, they speak a little in comparison to the amount of conversation they make while chatting. They are good at typing but when it is about face to face conversation they have nothing to speak about, all of a sudden they start feeling like they are running out of words. It is quite normal but still ruins a date, so be normal, do not shy, if you’re an introvert you may find it difficult to open up but you have to, no one can understand your silence on first date and no one likes that. You can’t put yourself on silent mode and wish your date to last long.
  • Control your hands : If You’re a man, be careful with physical touch, physical touch includes touching hands deliberately, touching hair, sitting close and touch her toes with yours. These are traits of flirts and dishonest guys. Body language is the key to the inner self, a flirt hardly makes eye contact while speaking. Moreover women are very good at identifying flirts.
  • Don’t pressurize : If your date wants to go home, don’t persist to continue the date, don’t ask if she would like to have dinner, go somewhere else or if she would like to continue for one more hour, if she has any such intentions then she would tell you. If she is saying she wants to go home than it is loud and clear that she wants to end the date, better drop her home. Do not persist, do not guilt your date by saying , “oh. I have been planning so long for this super fun thing to do afterwards, would you like to do it”. Come on!!!be a man, and bring it like a real option, ask her instead, would you like to continue or shall I drop you at your home ?
  • Don’t pretend to be someone else :- Be what you’re in reality, do not try to be someone else, we always feel overcautious and try to pretend like we are the perfect person on earth, but whenever someone tries to pretend, they easily get caught, moreover if you are wishing for a second or third date and a serious relationship than one day or the other your intrinsic qualities will come up, so be natural.
  • It’s okay to tease : Teasing is one of the funniest ways to flirt with a person, it is very nice to joke around and make someone smile on first date, people love humor, but there is a fine line between flirting and hurting, when you get too personal while teasing it turns into hurting, so be careful, do not cross that line.

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How do I choose the right life partner

Majority of us want a perfect person as our life partner, perfect in the sense that they must have qualities that we desire for, if you’re a man you may not say this but you want a beautiful, attractive, kind lady who should know cooking, cleaning and keeps you happy. On the other hand if you’re a woman, perhaps you want a man who earns well, can spend time with family, respect you and your parents, physically attractive. But the shitty thing is that NO BODY is perfect. Before looking for a person who must possess all the traits you desire, think once, if you have all the criteria in yourself those are required for being so called “Perfect” in today’s world.

Every person is a mixture of some good and some bad habits, some imperfections and some excellence. There are certain qualities that will not kill your relationship although may be annoying, on the other hand there are some qualities which are not at all acceptable.

Qualities of your partner that will not kill the relationship

  • Finds it difficult to express himself /herself.
  • Take the back seat in relationship and push you to take all the decisions.
  • A perfectionist.
  • Create a mess at home by keeping things here and there.
  • Workaholic.
  • Possessive (to some extent ).
  • Avoid frequent closeness.
  • Impatient.
  • Nagging.
  • Tries to appear stronger ( most males do not show their weakness)
  • Spend more time on work less with you.
  • Family oriented.
  • Demands time from you when you have no important work but understands when you’re busy.
  • Likes to be pampered always.

Qualities no one should tolerate

  • Liars.
  • Whose work and actions have no similarities.
  • Less bothered by your emotions and needs.
  • More interested in buying things for himself /herself rather than supporting family.
  • Apologize but do not try to change.
  • Knows his /her action may hurt others but least bothered about this.
  • Proud of education and wealth.
  • Ask for favours very often.
  • Alcoholic or drug addict.
  • Who wants you to trust but does not do anything trustworthy.
  • A jealous and suspicious person, although jealousy is a sign of he / she wants you and afraid of losing but extremely jealous people are a pain in the ass.
  • Who condemn you but react when you do the same.
  • Tries to hide their imperfactions and weakness, act as if he / she has all his /her shit together.
  • Flirts with your friends or strangers.
  • Assume negative things, for example if you’re busy at work he/ she may assume that you’re with someone else.
  • Tries to be a smart ass and spies on you.
  • Act if he/she knows everything.
  • Act parental.
  • Overly angry on small issues.
  • Create a drama after minor arguments.
  • More religious than spiritual.
  • Defensive even when his/her mistakes and lies are on the table.
  • Self righteous, lacks humble attitude.
  • Verbally or physically abusive.

You can take a chance with a person :-

  • Who is ready to change, of course it’s not just for a moment to avoid the arguments.
  • Who has a relationship with God.
  • Who is not religious but spiritual .
  • Who is not defensive but ready for an open talk.
  • Who is a good listener.
  • Interested to act upon your suggestions.
  • Who gives your opinion equal importance while taking any decision about family.
  • Who raise voice if you’re doing wrong rather than being an agreeable person and let you do anything you want.
  • Who has no alcoholic or drug addiction.

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How To Say Goodbye

After her breakup, my friend Jane was very much in pain, it was very difficult, almost impossible for her to move on. Probably she had been crying every night for a couple of months until she met this guy over the internet. They started to talk over a social media site, exchanged numbers, the conversations turned from a few text messages to hours of talking on the phone, as the days were passing Jane started to feel that her pain and difficulties have reduced, she started to forget her ex, the pain of past relationship was somehow diminishing, she felt more closer to the guy she was talking to, soon that guy proposed to her, although she didn’t accept but gave all the indications of her YES. She almost kept the pain that she got from her Ex aside. Now she was more stronger, more focused, she started to concentrate on her job, her projects. Soon she realized that she does not love the guy she is talking too, but she is very afraid to tell him about this and breaking up with him, as she feels the guilt of doing the same what just happened to her months ago,when she was broken into pieces this guy collected all the fragments of her soul, united those.

Many of us might have had such an experience like Jane, at some point of our lives. After a painful break up, when we were at the verge of sinking into the sea of depression, felt no appetite for days and slept only a few hours at night, someone appeared in our life, in this age of technology, it is very common to meet someone over social networking sites after break up. We just started to talk to the person, shared our pain and one fine morning we felt no pain no depression because of our past relationship, instead our mornings were now filled with texts from that person, subsequently we started to feel emotional attachment with that person, soon this attachment took the name of Love and then after a few months or a year we are now realizing that it is not love. It happened just because we were in need of someone to put all our pieces together again.

This ended up with us being in a situation where we know we do not love the person, do not want to fake it either but can not tell the person that it is not love, it was just the need of time, we were confused, our emotions and feelings were fragile at that very moment. We are not able to tell them these things because we feel guilty and selfish, how can we break someone’s heart who has united all broken pieces of our heart, how can we just cause the same pain to someone who has helped us to get out of pain, it is very selfish and an act of cruelty, this feeling comes because we find ourselves under the tremendous debts of the virtus they’ve done on us.

Think rationally, if you’re not happy or in love with this person, how long this thing will go smoothly. You’re afraid of cheating them but aren’t your cheating your own self. It is like you know the truth but still faking it to make that person happy. Yes of course you have done the biggest mistake in your life by confusing your need and your love. And the person who is on the opposite side have done nothing wrong, he/she is innocent and the angel that appeared to save your life, but do they deserve not to be loved by you from your heart, you may do a hundred things to show them you do love and care but you yourself knows that it’s all fake.

Secondly can you live with a person whom you do not love, but acting because you’re under the burden of their kindness, will you be happy? simply you’ll not. So the best way to rectify your mistake is to tell the person the truth. By telling the truth of course you’ll hurt the person, but it’s better to hurt then keeping them in an illusion. Truth is bitter but better than sweet lies. At some point you may meet someone with whom you may fall in love, at that time to maintain balance between your own wish, happiness and the thought of hurting the person who saved you once, you may start cheating, so better tell the person before it’s too late.

How to say Goodbye

If you’ve not yet accepted the proposal but showed all your interest in them, better do not accept until you’re sure about your feelings.

If your relationship is only over the phone and the internet, just reduce the time you spend over the internet. It may not help you but the less time you’ll spend over the internet with the person, the faster they’ll be detached from you, although not fully. This may help them when they’ll come to know about the truth. After a few weeks tell the person the truth, tell how do you feel about him/her, also mention the distance terms.

Avoid any form of intimacy over the phone or the internet, the more intimate you get with someone or they get with you, the harder it is to say goodbyes and hear goodbyes.

If your relationship is not only limited to phone and internet but both of you are living in the same city, better for you to meet and convey the truth. Of course they’ll react, will get mad at you, may even use slang but do not react. Just know one has to pay for every mistake one does.

The most important thing, do not keep them hanged, hoping that you’ll turn back to them again.

Before You Choose Your Partner

We start liking someone, fall in love and then go into relationships, but after sometimes some peoples start to think why he or she is with the person they thought they love, was this a wrong decision, they started to fight, problems arises, gradually they start to get annoyed with the person they once fell in love. We always hear opposite attracts, does it really attract ?? Or we need to go for a compatibility matching before choosing the right partner? Let’s think about 5 situations.


1. Extrovert Vs Introvert

An extrovert loves to party and socialize with others. Whereas an introvert likes to be in his own world with less people and less parties. Suppose A and B are two peoples, A loves to socialize and party hard where as B does not like all these. Now if A has to go to party B may not like, but if anybody among these two are agreeable person they may sacrifice their wish for their partner, but how long?? If the introvert goes to party he/she may not like it or feel bored, peoples may feel they’re not enjoying life, they are two serious, its difficult to be socialize with such people. If the extrovert sacrifice his/her wish to party or socialize just for the sake of his/her partner’s comfort then he / she will miss the personal fun and excitement which he/she may experience if he/she has not sacrificed the wish. For a few occasion they may feel it’s okay to do so but after a while they’ll also feel that they’re sacrificing their personal happiness for their partner. There comes a point when divergence arises.

2. Rebel Vs Adjustable

Some of us are very adjustable, we sacrifice many of our wishes and personal happiness, desires for our family, partner, kids. We do it for the sake of our affection and love. On the other hand many of us never give up, we think our own wishes, desires comes first. Everybody likes an adjustable person but at some point we start to think they’re weak, they can not stand for their happiness, their own rights. Recently I met one of my female friends, she had a break up with the guy she had been in relationship for more than three years, he is a very nice guy, very caring and responsible, but he is too much caring for everybody. The girl is from another religion and he can not argue with his parents for marrying this girl. As he also loves his family. He said that he will let them know and marry her for sure but his habit of not standing for his happiness and desires made the girl to feel that he can not stand for his rights and he is weak.

3.Ordered Vs Disordered

Some people love cleanliness, they want every thing at home to be at their appropriate place, where as some lives in mess, suppose both are living under the same roof, the one who loves mess and keep things here and there may think the cleanliness loving person is over conscious about these things, obsessed about small things, creates a scene for things that hardly matters, where as the cleanliness loving person may think his/her partner does not respect the effort they put to keep things in place, he or she may start saying if he or she is a servant whose work is to correct the mess created by their partner.

4. Intellectual Vs Dunce

Educational background and ability to learn new things plays a very important role in relationship. Two days ago one of my friend was telling me her husband is half as educated as she is, her career is more glorious and income is more than her husband. For man also it’s true. Suppose you’re highly educated, highly intellectual but your partner is very slow in learning and have less educational degrees, intellectual peoples love intellectual peoples as they can easily get along in any conversation, if your partner is less intellectual than you, more likey at some point you will feel you’re not able to share your ideas with them as you’re aware of the fact that they may not interact with you in the same tone, for example my friend told me once a story, it was funny but quite scary in terms of the stability of their relationship, my friend was discussing about hyperspace with his/her (using both to remove gender biasness) partner, and after listening for half and hour the partner replied “why are you talking about this, another plane was hijacked or what”.

On the other hand the person having less intellectual or academic interest may think the person with high intellect and academic interest is a bookworm, a nerd, sometimes these thoughts may appear that your partner thinks you’re worthless or less than what they’re.

5. Ambitious Vs Satisfied

Some people are very satisfied in life with their achievement, or they’re quite lazy in achieving their dreams, they’re not much involved in their work and thus they have more free time than those who are over ambitious, serious and wants to do many things in life, when a person has nothing to do then he /she thinks others also have enough time to spare. So the person starts demanding for more time from the other person. If they do not get much response just because the other person is busy, they start thinking about negative stuffs, like perhaps their partner is not much responsive, not much caring or in the worst case they may have another affair. These create collision.
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